I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
