I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
