On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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