Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
