he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
