i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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