Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
