If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
