Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
