yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
