Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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