the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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