Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
