I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Houston, we have a blender
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
