i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
