I think I am morally bankrupt
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
