people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
