Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
