the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
