i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
