i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
