can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
