I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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