we have officially lost it.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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