am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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