The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
