Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
