So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
