you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
