i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
