hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
