I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
