Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize