Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
