he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
