On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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