there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
