Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Randomize
