Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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