she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
