i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
