I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
