They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
