Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
