did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
