i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
me + whiskey = a bad person
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
