He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
did i walk over a car last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
