shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
