So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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