nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
