I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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