Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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