I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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