somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize