It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
